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| Photo credit: myfloridaremit.com |
Every female with a child out of wedlock has probably thought about using the "child support" threat to try and keep her man in line.
Sisters, we gotta talk.
Most of us do more than just "think" about using the child support threat; we actually go through with it. And when we do, we end up losing the man's respect forever, making it even harder on the children. But can you even see it?
Sometimes relationships don't work. But why would you put this type of animosity in play? You know for yourself that half the time we're WRONG when we file these charges.
Do we get some sort of "sick satisfaction" from placing this type of restriction on the man, teach him a lesson?
We get to have some type of power over him, so we think. But is it worth it? Is it worth destroying the child's life?
Is it worth making the father of your children despise you for life? Is it worth causing friction between the two families?
If you were trying to keep him, guess what...he will NEVER be the same with you. We step over the line when we throw our men to a system that hunts them down like animals anyway.
Do you even see what happens to everyone involved when we use child support as an unfair weapon? We can't see that we're using the children as "bargaining chips" in our personal vendettas?
Sister, I hate to say it, but if we use child support to get "revenge," we make one of the biggest mistakes of our life. And we need to fix it.
And you wonder why so many of our children end up in prison.
I'm sorry. I can't sugar-coat this because we've played a major role in ruining our children's lives. Placing them in the middle of disagreements, making them victims of permanent emotional damage. Most children blame themselves for their parents' split without the added drama.
Angry women are mainly the reason the father never sees his child. Most of the time we're so full of hate and hell that even the child doesn't want to be around us. You know it's true. Own up.
This sounds like a "woman-bashing" moment, but it's not. This is real talk. There's no nice way to say this. I'm a woman. I know what I'm talking about. People told me I should do the child support "thang". But I decided against it.
We can't control anyone but self.
When you use the law as a weapon against the father of your children, you have fallen as low as you can go. Snakes are on a higher level than that.
What IS Child Support?
We seem to think child support is a "monthly check." We don't get it. Child support IS NOT a monthly check.
Child support happens when both parents (even if they're not together) stand on either side of the child to brace them up and "support" them through their growth challenges.
Women took advantage of the whole child-support concept and turned it into something ugly and destructive.
- In many cases, the decision to file child support has nothing to do with the father abandoning his responsibilities. Child support is usually a "power play" when two people break up, and the woman wants to control the situation through the child.
- The woman wants to humiliate the man and make his life miserable, especially if both have moved on or remarried.
- Using the child as a "game piece" happens in 95% of break-ups.
- 97% of child support action is UNJUSTLY taken.
- Women know their boyfriend doesn't have a job, but they don't care about that until and unless the two break up. Then she goes and files child support as if he's in the position to pay something in the first place.
However, sisters, it's an embarrassment to the female gender that some of us penalize fathers who love their kids, buy for them, and want to spend time with time with them--just because we're "pissed off."
We need to "back up" off this child-support kick, for real.
Check this article out: "Why Do Women Use Child Support to Get Revenge?"
This subject is too broad to include all the dynamics in one post. So stay tuned for part II.
I know you have something to say so "say it" in the comment section. We'll talk.
One love,
Peggy
© September 2014 by Peggy James
my baby mama tried to do it to me but i put all my receipts in one place. When da shit hit da fan, I had a shoebox full of receipts. All da judge could do was apologize for dragging me to court. then he looked at her and told her she had to pay court cost, he warned her not to use the legal system to try to get revenge. i would say to all the brothas to just keep all your receipts.
ReplyDeleteMy baby mama don't want me to have a woman. We ain't been together in 6 years. She got a man living over my kids. But I can't have nobody. When she hear of me having a relationship, she go and file false child support claims, even though they take it out of my check every week. We ended up having to go to court to determine if I should be paying more money. The judge was a woman, and even she said I was already paying more than I should on my salary. Instead of raising it, the judge lowered the amount that comes out of my check every week. Believe me when I tell you this made my baby mama too mad. She looked at me and said she will make sure I don't have nothing. Take it from me bro, some women will do anything to hurt you, just because they feel like they can.
DeleteAll woman don't behave like that; just like all men don't deserve to be treated that way. For instance, my son's father and I separated when he was three years old. He was married when we got together; he went back to his wife;after pressure from his mother; and never did anything for his son; and I never tried to make him. Was I angry? Hell yes. Was people in my ear saying "get him for child support"? Right again. In the end, it was my decision. I chose NOT to take our families thru this kind of hassle. It was hard raising a son on my own, but I did it with my family's help. My point is, you're right when you say "some" women. Because "some" of us think about more than ourselves.
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