What's the REAL Deal Behind Child Support? Part 2

I received a touching email yesterday from a young man who read yesterday's post.  Therefore, I thought it appropriate to use the image and the email contents to kick off Part II of this discussion.

If you missed yesterday's post, "What's the REAL Deal Behind Child Support?" Part 1, you can read it here.

You may also want to read "Why Do Women Use Child Support to Get Revenge?"  These are all discussion pieces to help us look at our behavior.

Well...let's get to it.

This IS NOT a campaign against women.


To settle questions about the content of yesterday's post, NO.  This is not a campaign against women. It IS, however, a campaign to find the "root" of our problem, in determining WHAT or WHO divides the family unit.  We have a problem, and our kids are paying the price.

Both men and women play a role in separating families.  However...

...most of the time, at the root of ALL our relationship problems is a "woman scorned."  And we all know what scorned women do.  We make your life a living hell.

Each sister interprets "being scorned" differently.  For some it may mean:

• I called you five times; you didn't answer your phone.  You musta' been wit a bitch!
• I went through your phone, and I found the texts that have been going back and forth between you and dat ho.
• When I came to your house, I know you were in there wit her.  I saw her car parked around the corner.
• They told me y'all were at the party together while I'm at home babysitting.

The list goes on and on.

What may be a big deal to some women, really doesn't amount to much to others.  Nevertheless, women NEVER forget anything.  We just pack it away, like winter clothes, and we pull it out when it's time.

Once a baby comes into the picture, everything changes

Guys, if you're not ready to be a father, don't screw.  Once we have a baby, you belong to us... for life. You may as well be married.  At least you won't be "held up" for child support-- unless you got babies in three or four places.  Then, you're on your own.

Really?  Do you really have to have babies on every block?

But I DO get it.  It still comes back to the woman.  WE are saying "yes" to too much sex.  And in many cases, we're TRYING to get pregnant, for whatever reason.

Sisters, we gotta talk.

I understand your move.  I made it myself.  Every woman "loves" a man "so much" that she wants to give him the "ultimate gift," which is a son or daughter.  Again, this IS NOT a woman-bashing conversation.  But the shoe DOES fit.

Anyway...

...sisters, we gotta close our legs and STOP dropping our self-control to jump into bed with every guy who says, "You shole look good."  And then we get mad because "He ain't sensitive to my feelings."

My sister, my sister...

...we can't expect men to "feel" how we feel, because they don't and they won't.  Men aren't made the way we're made.

Women are more "emotional" because we have MORE of every feeling inside us, to make us capable of nurturing children.

We have to be able to "feel" and "discern."  These qualities called "women's intuition," help us to take care of our families.

Men don't have that.  They don't need it.  That's why we're "help mates."  We have the "sensitive" part; they have the "strength."

When we "take away their strength," they have nothing left.

Which brings me to the next point...

STOP trying to make BABYSITTERS out of men.  This goes against nature.  Making him babysit or else "I'll put you on child support" is a cheap move.  Stop it.  Men are NOT babysitters.

Whenever you hear of a man "throwing a baby against the wall" it's probably because she "forced him to babysit" by threatening child support.  He cracked under the pressure and couldn't take it anymore.

NO.  I'm not saying he was right in doing that.  What I AM saying is women should NEVER force men to babysit under the threat of child support.  This is uncool and it's dangerous for the baby.  Men ARE NOT babysitters.

If you need him to watch the baby for a couple of hours while you do something, that's different.  But telling him he's "gonna do it every day" is not a cool move.  It's a recipe for disaster.
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Sisters, this is a conversation we need to have.  It's real talk.  Let's rise above the dumb sh--t, IF you don't want your kids to "turn on you," when they turn 15 and 16.

Let's make PEACE as parents, so our kids can STOP paying the price for our foolishness.

Nobody has all the answers, but at least we can start the conversation and learn from each other.

Peace...

Peggy

© September 2014 by Peggy James